The Tea with Tina
The Tea with Tina is going to be your new favorite weekly chit-chat that will feel like a good, juicy sit-down with your BFF. This podcast isn't your average (and boring) radio talk show-styled podcast. We dig deep, get personal, and have lots of fun along the way. Hear some relatable stories and a different perspective on various topics from health and fitness to pop culture. I am Tina Wieland, a certified fitness trainer and nutrition coach. Grab your caffeinated drink of choice, get comfortable, and be ready to hear the TEA.
The Tea with Tina
237 | How to Balance Your Fitness Goals and Family Life
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Balancing personal health and family life can feel like an impossible task, especially for women juggling multiple roles. Ever wonder why prioritizing self-care often leads to guilt? Join me on this episode of Tea with Tina as I unravel this common struggle, sharing my journey from a gym-loyal fitness coach to independent wellness advocate. You'll learn practical strategies for seamlessly integrating health priorities into your schedule without compromising on family time. Let’s challenge societal norms and redefine self-care as a necessity rather than a luxury.
Reflecting on my transition to an independent fitness coach, I reveal the valuable lessons learned in aligning work with personal values. This journey, filled with sacrifices and decisive moves, emphasizes the significance of putting your health first. Discover how overcoming burnout and managing an autoimmune disorder taught me the indispensable role of self-care. Through this episode, we explore creating a balanced schedule that nurtures personal growth and professional fulfillment, proving you can serve others best when you prioritize filling your own cup.
The benefits of taking time for yourself extend far beyond individual wellness. Improved interactions with loved ones and a supportive family environment are among the key rewards. Learn how to encourage family participation in healthy habits and set boundaries that allow for necessary "me time." With realistic strategies, from active outings to healthy dining choices, this episode inspires you to embrace self-care, becoming a better version of yourself for those you love. Subscribe for more empowering discussions on health, fitness, and lifestyle, and let us guide you toward a balanced life that enriches both personal and family well-being.
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Welcome to the Tea with Tina, your favorite podcast, where we talk all things health, fitness, lifestyle, and maybe a little bit of tea gets spilled. We chat all about this in a super casual environment, so grab your beverage of choice, sit back, relax and enjoy. Relax and enjoy. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Tea with Tina podcast. Today we have a topic that many of you can probably relate to, and it's how to prioritize your health without sacrificing family time.
Speaker 1:Yes, this is one of the most common excuses that I get and the most common struggle that I get with my clients and people that I chat with. Well, how can I stick to a fitness routine? You know I need to be home for my kids games and I need to be here for this. You know club meeting or this task. Or my husband wants me to spend time with him, or my kids don't want to eat healthy food and my husband doesn't like the healthy food that I make. And let me tell you I'm here to tell you today that I have solutions for all of those problems and more so tune in to learn how to prioritize your health while still including your family and building a relationship with them. All right, so let's dive in. So, number one let's talk about why prioritizing health is so hard for women In general, women with families, women with spouses, significant others, even pets.
Speaker 1:You know really anything right? We, as women, are constantly juggling responsibilities. We have work, family, kids, household, and this often leaves health at the bottom of the list. A lot of it also is how society has taught women to act right. It's you know you come last. You need to be selfless. You know, like I said, the needs of everybody else comes before you. It just is ingrained in our DNA and I feel like, naturally, women tend to be caregivers, helpers. We're always adding, you know, personal touches to our experiences, our home. You know, personal touches to our experiences, our home, and it just requires a lot of emotional and mental effort on our end. And it's a great thing and we're wonderful, strong women. But again, we often get put last right. It's actually so ingrained in us that many women, most women, actually feel guilty for taking time for themselves, thinking it's selfish when they have family obligations. Right, like it's like. Oh, you can't put yourself first. Are you serious? You can't take time for yourself? What about everybody else? Time for yourself, what about everybody else. It's really, you know, we really think about that.
Speaker 1:Um, as far as me, when I've struggled with this, I would say sometimes I still kind of get caught up in it, depending, uh, you just get into this zone, like for me, I get into a good groove of, oh well, I gotta, you know, cook the dinners from scratch, and then I have to clean the house, and then I gotta tend to binks, and then I gotta tend to my husband's needs, and well, what about clients and this and that and this? And it actually happened to me this morning. I felt guilty, uh, because I wanted to go for a walk first, first thing in the morning, before I hopped into work, because it was a way for me to kind of clear my mind, set the tone for the day. But that little bit of guilt, I hesitated, because I was like, oh well, you know that time could be going towards work and I'm going to be starting my work day later, and that bothered me, right. And I think we struggle with this a lot. You may be able to relate to this on so many levels, right, and I'm telling you there's a way to do it. Now I will say also that, depending on how tight your schedule is. What this looks like will be different for everybody. It may be microbursts and you may be able to kind of rearrange and change your schedule, maybe as your kids get older and maybe they can be more independent. So it may just depend on a lot of different factors your husband's work schedule, your current work schedule, what time you're able to actually like do on your own and prioritize yourself.
Speaker 1:I mean, heck, if you look at my situation, it's so easy to look at somebody, not necessarily me in particular, just in general. This is why I'm such. Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I always like to. When I see somebody that has something that I want or I'm intrigued on how they got there, I really get invested onto how they did it and I try to get all of the truth, because there are some people that try to kind of hide what it took for them to get there. Like you know, just a generic example is somebody who's like a multimillionaire. Right, they might tell you this fun, flashy story of how they got there, but they regret to show all the struggles and sacrifices that they made and it gives you a more realistic picture, right Of oh, this is how much it takes to get there, because then it makes you question if you really want to do that. I do this often on my channel because I help lifestyle women right. This is what we're chatting about.
Speaker 1:A lot of the fitness you see out there, especially targeted towards women, is bikini competitors and bodybuilders. They do a couple shows, they get super shredded and they take the information that they learned during their bodybuilding competition and try to translate it to lifestyle coaching, and this is why I'm so open. I just did a big post about this. I'm so open about what it really takes to be a competitor and what that the amount of sacrifice and effort that takes is not what you need to be lifestyle healthy, which I think is why so many people fail. Because you know this crazy extreme diet that's meant for a sport because these people are athletes is packaged as a lifestyle thing and they say, oh well, if you don't try this hard, then you're a failure and you're not doing it right and that's why so many people fail. But the reason I painted that picture for you is because I was talking about with my situation and how we were talking about you know time limitations and things based on your individual situation and what it may take if you are really passionate about freeing up your time.
Speaker 1:For me personally, I started getting into fitness probably when I was like 16, 17 years old. I was writing a blog. I remember even on holidays I'd be locking myself up in my room just like writing blog posts, designing things. I was very obsessed with it in a good way, I guess, you could say. And you know, I started as a personal trainer in the gym and if you aren't in the personal training space, being a personal trainer is especially if you're working for a gym is a very selfless job. You're caught working very long hours. You are often the subject of your clients time. Many trainers will work 12 plus hour shifts or grueling split shifts where it's like 5 am to I don't know 11 am and you have a little gap, and then you go back at the end of the night you know 3 to 8 or 9 pm Because you're working around people's schedules, right. So it's very grueling. You often don't get paid very much. I did not.
Speaker 1:I did take it as a learning opportunity, though for many years I was like I'm going to, you know, train as many people as I can, learn as much as I can, and that's kind of like the quote unquote payment that I got out of it right. You do a lot of stuff for free. At first people bail on you. You know you're given your heart and soul. It is a it's not for the week on you. You know you're given your heart and soul. It is a it's not for the week. I will say that it's been a great learning experience.
Speaker 1:I've learned a lot, but I didn't want to get trapped in working hourly. I wasn't making commission. I was kind of capped out at where I could be and my schedule. I felt so restricted. I felt like I was working all these hours and really had nothing to show for it, and I was also a really big part that was important to me was I wasn't able to conduct health and fitness in a way that I wanted to. I was always working for another gym, another brand, and while I had certain ideas, they always had, you know, package structures, pricing, workout structures, how things are, ran was based off of them. So I never felt like I truly could be me.
Speaker 1:So over the course of really almost 10 years, if you look at it, I always wanted to go independent, on my own. And as of 2020, I'm recording in 2024, before the pandemic I actually started loosely doing online coaching because I knew that would give me more time freedom. And as of 2023 was when I made the jump mid 2023, to go completely independent for myself and I do a hybrid where I train some people in person and I do online, and now I have the ability to kind of create my own schedule and I'm not stuck to working these crazy long hours. I still obviously work hard, just in a way that suits me better. And I was working at this for how many years? Right, it's not just like one day I flip the switch and I'm like, yeah, I'm just gonna work for myself and I got all these clients and everything and I'm ready to go. It's been so many steps in that direction for years and years. Now your changes may not take years, but again, just framing that if you really want something like really time freedom or something, you may have to work at it and make some sacrifices as well.
Speaker 1:That's something that we did. I mean, me and my husband moved across the state, not saying that you have to, but just saying we moved across the state because we assessed our area and we're just like we're kind of capped out because it was a lower income area, cost of living, cheap, but we had explored the area, we traveled to all the places we wanted to. While we were dating, we kind of were both at the top of the chain as far as what we could make and we just feel like it lacked opportunity. So we, you know, went to the other side of our state where it's closer to Philadelphia, it's closer to New York, it's closer to New Jersey. You're around those like-minded people who there's more opportunity. They have maybe came from New York or Philly and they have that business mindset and it's just a different. It's different right, not one's right or wrong, but it's just more opportunity for us, more to grow, to travel, to explore. And we made that jump. It was a shot in the dark. We actually checked many places throughout the country, including the west coast, down south, even Wisconsin, michigan area, and you, you know, based off of jobs and everything, we actually landed up just on the other side of Pennsylvania. But I will tell you that the western and eastern side are two completely different vibes.
Speaker 1:But again, just again a roundabout way of me saying that if you don't like your situation and you want to change it. Yes, it will take effort. You can't just, you know, get what you want and there'll be no consequences. So think about that, but also think about how badly maybe you want your situation to change. If you want it to change badly enough, then maybe you can, you know, start working on and planning out what it would take to get, you know, more free time, having that time to to work out and things. And you're probably going to see this on a smaller scale as we continue to go through this podcast on making sacrifices, to make little adjustments to your schedule, but in the long run, it will benefit everybody.
Speaker 1:Okay, so sorry that was slightly off topic, but not really. It was more just to get you a deeper understanding of that, right. So, okay, we have this. We know that prioritizing your health is hard because you're busy and you're a woman and you have many different responsibilities, you have many different hats and we often come last on the list of things that need done, right? Well, I need to talk about how the importance of filling your own cup first is. This is very important and I talk about it a lot and it can be slightly controversial.
Speaker 1:The reason I really felt deeply about this was I found a Facebook post and there was this girl who mentioned something about how she was so proud to put everybody before her as a mom, and she's just like when I'm exhausted at the end of the day, you know, my kids are smiling and my husband's smiling, and I don't remember the exact context because this was a while ago, but it was like you know, they're just so happy that I put them first and you know, and in theory, I could see how people would see that in a positive light, because that's kind of what we're. We are programmed to think like, right, that's just how society has shaped our views. But I challenge that and here's my theory from personal experience, as somebody who has been burned out multiple times, has an autoimmune disorder, has been a huge people pleaser, to the point where I beat myself up. Well, would this is past tense would beat myself up if somebody chose not to like me even though I did everything right. It wasn't me, you know, sometimes you know you could be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world and somebody's still not gonna like peaches. Um, I would just, it would crumble me if somebody didn't give me the response that I expected, because I put in all this effort and I was trying my best to please them and and this and that. So I've been there, I've been on the extreme right. But I will tell you this you are much better off if you take the time to put yourself first.
Speaker 1:Because here's how I look at it when you take the time to fill up your cup, prioritize you, you're giving your loved ones your best. You Think about it. In today's society, we're running off fumes, we're over caffeinated, maybe supplementing with xanax or some sort of medication, and we're stressed out. We don't have time to meditate or think or clear our brains. So when we do, force ourselves to be put last and we're interacting with everybody, we're snippy with our husbands. We're freaking out on our kids. We're short with our friends. Maybe we don't even talk to our friends because we're just like I'm, so exhausted. Maybe you're snippy with your parents, you know, because you're so on edge, because you have not taken care of you. But if you take that little bit of time, even though it seems selfish up front, to take care of you, that way, when you feel well rested, you can give your best. That way, when you feel well, rested, you can give your best.
Speaker 1:And this actually originated from my clients, this mindset for me, because there was many times that I felt really exhausted and I would try to do a check-in for them online and I was just like, wow, this is like shit, my brain is foggy. This was particularly when I was going through my autoimmune issues. I was like my brain's foggy, I feel very incoherent, they're not getting a quality service. So I said I'd rather rest up today and then, you know, get back to them tomorrow so they can at least get a better quality service. Yes, it's a day later, but they're going to get way better quality for me, right? And they're very understanding and it rarely happens, but when it did, I would shoot them a message and they would understand, right, and they're getting something better.
Speaker 1:So, again, if you take the time to move your body, de-stress, you're feeling better about yourself. You're taking the time to eat healthier foods, so you feel energized and replenished, um, you're going to show up better for your family and they're going to get a happier, healthier you, you right, you'll be around longer and you'll be able to keep up with your kids and you'll feel more peaceful. So I see nothing but positives, all right. So another thing, aside from filling up your own cup, would be involving your family in your healthy habits. Now I think this comes back to being realistic and going back to me saying, like how the bodybuilders influence the lifestyle clients and the lifestyle people.
Speaker 1:I think the picture that is painted of fitness is often like you have to spend an hour plus in the gym lifting heavy. You got to be meal prep and chicken, broccoli, rice. You know no days off and listen, there's nothing actually wrong with that if that's something that you want to pursue and you know the consequences that come with it, the sacrifice that comes with it. But you know, my point is that most people, especially if you have a family or you know just a significant other and you want to spend time or you're just spending time with your parents or whatever you know, you're gonna want something more realistic, right? So what does that look like? What does that look like? A story from some of my clients.
Speaker 1:Some of them, when they take their kids to sports practice and it's nice out they might walk up and down the bleachers or they'll do laps or they'll do little bleacher workouts, maybe some push-ups, some squats, some step-ups. Like I said, they're going for walks. They're doing little intervals, right. You can even just stretch. It doesn't have to be the whole time. Maybe start with 10, 20 minutes. She would get the other moms going with her to stay fit. I love that idea. Little ways of maybe you're waking up earlier to get a 15, 20-minute workout in, to involve your kids, though, and your family. Maybe you're going on a family walk after dinner, maybe on the weekends for a thing to do. The thing to do is a little bit more active. Maybe you guys go hiking, or there's family-oriented kids kind of places that there's like active zones, activity zones or maybe you go on a bike ride or you guys go swimming together. There's a lot of ways that you can have fun with movement, right. It doesn't have to just be a workout in a gym, right. It can be so many different things.
Speaker 1:And as far as the eating goes, I think, leading by example especially if you have children, you know, oh, we're going to eat at this restaurant that has healthier options, and you show that to them. That's good. Husbands may be a little different, right. I know some of you may have stubborn spouses that eat a certain way. I will say there's not much you can do in the realm of that beside. Lead by example. Nagging them and telling them, hey, you got to eat healthier, is not going to work. I will tell you that you're better off, again, just leading by example. Nagging them and telling them, hey, you got to eat healthier, is not going to work. I will tell you that you're better off, again, just leading by example, letting them get curious. And if you do have the picky eaters maybe the kids that only eat chicken nuggets, maybe the husband that eats you know more of the fast food, but you don't want to eat it my best advice is to have healthy substitutes for you. So a good example, let me think, is let's say you did all. Right, this is a good one.
Speaker 1:Grilled cheese sandwiches Sounds unhealthy, right? Well, let's say you're doing grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. So you can make your own tomato soup. So you're probably gonna have less sodium in there, which is good, and you can control the ingredients in there. So that's already healthy. It's low calorie, that's great. The grilled cheese Okay, your husband maybe.
Speaker 1:He wants bacon, bacon on his grilled cheese. You put the cheese on there. You get him some nice sourdough bread. Put some butter on there, fried up, he's happy.
Speaker 1:How could you make that healthier or at least more nutrient beneficial? What I would do is I would probably use ham instead of bacon, or Canadian bacon, because it's higher in protein, lower in fat. You could also use turkey bacon, okay. So just a nice little substitute that you can keep for yourself. Okay, um, the cheeses you can keep the same, but I would also differ on the bread, and you can do six four seven bread, um, or a lower calorie option. A slice of sourdough could go up to like 200, almost 250 calories a slice, while six four seven bread you're looking at like 50 calories a slice. So that will save you a lot, um in calories, and it's just simple swaps, um.
Speaker 1:Another thing could be, you know, if you're having french fries or you know a heavier side, you can opt to get like a bag of air fryer vegetables and you make it for yourself. Um, you know it won't spoil. You can have a nice serving for yourself, eat it throughout the week, maybe take some leftovers to lunch. Maybe make yourself a side salad. Maybe you choose to grill your chicken instead of fry it. There's little ways. And also you can, even if you're feeling adventurous, sneak and make those healthy recipes that don't taste healthy.
Speaker 1:I actually have a daily email about this. It's called Tina's Tidbits. If you're not already on it, you can check out in the description below. I send getting close to 300 recipes now, so there's no excuses here. But I specifically look for things that are nutritionally balanced, so they're truly actually beneficial. They're not going to say that they're high protein and have like five grams protein in it. But I also look for realistic recipes, things that I know, when you make it, it's not going to taste fake healthy, it's going to actually taste good. That I know when you make it, it's not going to taste fake healthy, it's going to actually taste good. So, um, they're out there. You just have to know what to look for. Um, and I always get compliments all the time I made this. My kids loved it. I did this. It's so good. You know people tell me that they love these recipes all the time, um, so hopefully it can be something that can spark some inspiration in you, okay, and then, in regards to you, uh of the time saving ideas that don't require hours in the gym, right, we?
Speaker 1:We talked about how you can include your family in fitness activities. So that's like bang for your buck, cause you're getting, you know, two for one there. But as far as what you can do, if you can't go to the gym, that's fine, you know. If you can wake up earlier, get it done, or maybe you go straight after work or whatever you can find time to get it in, that's great, that's awesome, I love it. But for those of you who feel like you have to go to the gym, you don't. You can start by working out at home, just body weight. There's plenty of resources out there. I have one myself. It's called fitness by the minute. If you're interested, shoot me a message. It's only $25 a month and you can do these workouts anywhere under 30 minutes with minimal equipment. But you can do youtube videos. You can follow instagram workouts.
Speaker 1:There's so many different things that you can do for movement. You could go for walks. You start with a walk, you know, but it does not have to be necessarily in a gym lifting these heavy weights. Now, the only bit of nuance I will say is, depending on your goals, body weight and lighter dumbbells will only get you so far. You will reach a point where you somewhat plateau and you will need, maybe heavier weights to keep progressing. But if your goal more so is to get moving and just get started, I wouldn't even worry about that, because that's going to be months down the line and maybe you'll build up the confidence and you'll get it into your schedule, or maybe you'll want to join a gym at that point, or things will change, or maybe you're able to get more equipment in your house. There's so many options that could happen moving forward in your house. You know there's so many options that could happen moving forward. All right.
Speaker 1:And then something else to think about is that prioritizing your health doesn't mean being perfect, right? I think we are all or nothingers, a lot of us, you know. Oh well, if I don't show up perfectly like the girl on Instagram, then why even try it all? And a lot of this to progress is taking that messy action that feels uncomfortable, a lot of it. Um, so really get comfortable just showing up, doing the thing, even when your kid just threw up on your shirt, or when you forgot your headphones, or when you know the meal prep. You know the chicken's tasting a little too chickeny, but you got to eat in any way. You just put some hot sauce on it and get it down. You know, there's a lot of things that happen, and this happens to the super fit people too. They probably just don't talk about it, but I'm friends with many of them and I can tell you. Uh, they go through it too.
Speaker 1:And the last thing I want to touch on that I believe people don't do enough is setting boundaries to protect your health and fitness goals. Here's the thing Anytime there is change in the world, people push back because it's different. We like what we're doing because it's comfortable. Many people actually stay in situations that are worse for them, but they stay because the feeling of comfort is better than changing. Slight trigger warning. But think about people who are in abusive relationships. They don't get out because it's just the fact that, okay, I have somebody, I'm used to this, I'm comfortable with this, with this routine, even though it's terrible. They stay because of the comfort. Right, not always, but that is one of the psychological reasons.
Speaker 1:So you need boundaries because as soon as you say I'm gonna start a fitness routine, you might get pushback from your husband or your kids or your family. Oh well, are you gonna spend time with us? Well, what about? Am going to have to take the kids to sports now, this and that, and that's something you truly just need to have an adult conversation about and say, hey, I'm doing this for my health, this is for me, it's so I can relieve stress. I want to be, you know, around for my kids, or I want to feel better about myself, get better blood work results, you know, be able to to lift things on my own, be independent when I'm older just talking about all those things, set your boundaries, say how important it is and say this is what I'm thinking, you know, are you you know? Are you okay with this? Is there any way we can meet in the middle? Um, you know, chat it over with your husband or whoever you're living with, that maybe it would conflict with and let them know that, hey, yeah, this is my boundary.
Speaker 1:Like I'm going to go to the gym at, you know, 5 pm Tuesday, thursday, sunday, and that's my time. I'm going to be there for a half hour hour and that's it. I would always laugh because I always have those clients where their husband calls them at the gym and they're always like where are you at? And they're like I'm at the gym. I've been here every Tuesday for an hour for the past like four months and they still always call and it's just, it's so funny to me. But remember to just set that boundary.
Speaker 1:And in a way, especially if you have kids, um, in general your actions will inspire others. Uh, you know, if they're ready, they might. You might inspire somebody else to be healthy. You're, I've had many clients that have kids that they'll um start doing workouts with mom or they like will draw pictures of mom at the gym. Um, they want to know what they're getting into and they're interested in fitness because their mom's doing it and she's having a great time. So it does rub off in a positive way on your loved ones.
Speaker 1:So, you know, lead by example, show up with confidence. You know, be firm in your boundaries, but polite, but just let them know. Hey, this is my me time. I don't get much time to myself and this is the one thing I am doing for me, so I'm doing it and it'll make a big difference, okay, so remember, taking care of your health is not selfish, it's necessary. When you feel your best, you can give your best. So you know what's one thing that you can do today to prioritize your health without taking time away from your family.
Speaker 1:Taking time away from your family, let me know you know if you enjoyed this episode, you can leave a review that I would appreciate. More people see the show. If you leave reviews, you could share it with somebody who might benefit from this episode. And don't forget to subscribe, if you haven't already, because I post new episodes every Monday and Wednesday, all about health and fitness and maybe a little bit of lifestyle. All right, so that is all I have for you today Nice sit down chit chat episode, but I hope that this inspired you to take some time for you and your health and prioritize you to be a better mom, wife, sister, daughter, worker. Better you All right, but have a good one, guys, and I'll chat with you soon. Bye.
