268 | Five Beliefs Sabotaging Your Eating

Five “innocent” beliefs may be quietly sabotaging your eating—and once you spot them, everything changes. We dig into the real drivers behind plate-clearing guilt, the fear that one cookie means a full binge, the panic over a higher scale number, the weekend “start Monday” spiral, and the comfort of “I deserve this” after a tough day. Along the way, we trade shame for science and give you practical tools you can use tonight.

We start by reframing waste and worth: finishing your plate isn’t frugal if the cost is your health. Then we tackle all-or-nothing thinking and why restriction raises the reward value of “forbidden” foods. You’ll learn how a protein-rich breakfast, planned snacks, and calmer self-talk make moderation possible, plus how a few “messy reps” can help normalize eating after years of tight rules. We share a simple way to weigh without spiraling—daily averages and trend tracking—or how to skip the scale and measure what matters through photos, measurements, and behavior goals.

Weekends get a makeover with anchor habits, smart menu trade-offs, and small upgrades that keep joy intact without the Monday shame. Finally, we unpack emotional eating and dopamine: why crunchy, sweet, and bubbly hits feel like medicine, and how to keep the ritual while changing the dose with satisfying swaps and non-food rewards that actually soothe. Underneath it all, the real work is about safety, trust, and permission—building a stable relationship with food that supports the life you want.

If you’re ready to stop spinning on the diet hamster wheel and address the root cause, I’d love to help. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a kinder approach to nutrition, and leave a review telling us which belief you’re rewriting this week.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Coaching Invite
• 1:55 Belief 1: I Can’t Waste Food
• 5:15 Reframing Plate-Clearing Guilt
• 7:30 Belief 2: If I Eat One, I’ll Binge
• 12:10 Restriction, Self-Talk, And Normalizing
• 18:40 Personal Story: From Cravings To Balance
• 21:50 Belief 3: Weight Gain Is The Worst
• 24:35 Scale Science And Fluctuations

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hello everyone, welcome to the Tired But Toned podcast. And on today's episode, we're gonna be talking about five sneaky beliefs that are messing with your diet and your eating. Okay. Now, before I dive into these, I'm gonna say that for a big chunk of you that are on the hamster wheel and you're constantly spinning your wheels, wondering like, I keep trying these diets, I try keto, I try macro tracking, um, I try portion control, I try intuitive eating, like I've tried everything, and for some reason I cannot stick to it. I don't know what the right diet is. For many of you, it's not the diet itself, it's gonna be something a little bit deeper. Um, but once you get to that reason, everything falls into place and life becomes a million times easier. And I found that out with so many of the women that I work with. So if you're open to digging deeper and figuring out what the root cause is, and a lot of the times it could be emotional, it could be a mindset thing. Um, and we'll even dive into some of those concepts today. But each person is so individualized. Uh, please reach out to me for nutrition coaching. I like to think that I'm a wizard with this kind of stuff because we get to the root cause that really is stopping you, and then that way you're able to actually live your life. You don't have to do strict diets, you can figure out a way that you can eat and move in a way that feels good for you, your body, your brain. I've done it with myself, I've done it with many others. But yes, please feel free to reach out. There's a link in the description uh if you want to apply to work with me. Okay, but other than that, let's dive in to these five sneaky beliefs. Okay, so first belief here that we have around food is that I can't waste food. This is a big one. Um, I don't know if the younger generations are going to get this as much. This will be interesting. I will also say that the older you are, um, I would say the tougher dieting has been on you. Women, I would say, who are maybe 45 and up as of right now are some of the toughest to deal with dieting-wise. Their dieting mindsets are very ingrained in them because from that generation, uh, the dieting things that were said to them were so extreme, so black and white, um, a lot more blatant. And and then I would say the younger that you get, it I'm seeing more um people come to me, and their goal isn't you know weight loss or fat loss. A lot of them are just like, I want to be healthier, I want to feel better, I want to be more energized, and that makes me feel so much better because their mindset is so much less black and white, and I need to be a certain number or a certain size, and and um it comes from a good place, their goals, and that that is really good to see. But going with this, I can't waste food. I'm sure you've heard it when you were a kid. Um, you know, you gotta eat everything on your plate if you want to eat dessert. You know, what about the children in Africa? They're starving and you're not eating your food. And it's like, well, why don't we send this food to them then? You know, um, but you can't, right? And it it kind of creates this thing that you can't waste food. You feel guilty if you waste food. I am uh a victim of this thought belief, but you know, it's okay because another reframe on this is if you know, let's say you eat what you want and then you you're satisfied, but you have food left over, right? Initially you think, oh my gosh, I have to eat this food, I gotta clean my plate, I feel so bad. This is food waste. If you put all that in your body, think of the consequences, right? You are potentially setting yourself up for extra fat storage, which can lead to diabetes, heart disease, obesity, um, and a whole host of health problems. So is it really worth it, right? And this food is biodegradable, it can it can compost, it's gonna go back into the earth, it's okay. You're not really wasting, like you may be wasting some money or whatnot, but then that learn that teaches you for next time to be more mindful um around your appetite. And if you are working on your health and fitness goals, and how I was saying earlier about how we get to the root cause, and a lot of the times it's not the traditional dieting methods that are gonna bring you long-term success. Um, you know, you'll learn and you'll know what you can eat. So, like as you get better, you're gonna be able to eyeball your food, and most of the time you'll be able to, you know, fill up your plate enough that you can't eat it. Now, maybe when you go out to restaurants, it's a different story, but you can bring some home with you, you know. So there's a lot of tips and tricks there. Um, but you know, you'll stumble upon this every now and then, and that is a super common one, and we just force ourselves to eat even when we don't want to because it feels wasteful. Um, so just remember though that extra waste will go into your body. Like I said, it can cause future health issues. Okay. Now, number two, if I eat one, I'll eat them all. This is another big one that I see, and I think there's a couple things going on here. Uh, one, it can come from a place of extreme restriction, okay? Um, it's kind of the idea that, like, oh my god, you know, when Christmas comes around and we make this pie, it's the only time of year we can eat this pie. So, like, I gotta eat like five pieces because it's gonna be a whole year before I eat this pie again. And it's like, well, you could really just make that pie whenever you want throughout the year, like, or buy something similar. Like, it doesn't have to be specifically for this holiday. And if you're really craving it, you can enjoy it. Like, it's not the end of the world, right? We're not living back in the day where like you can only get, you know, if something wasn't in season, you couldn't get it, you know. So think about that. Uh, we we can get anything we want, uh, you know, just driving to the grocery store for the most part, you can order it online, whatever. So that kind of knocks out that belief, okay? But another thing is is we do restrict ourselves as well. It could just be like, oh, well, I'm gonna starve myself all day because I know we're gonna be eating a lot of food. So if I eat nothing, that leaves me all a full day's worth of calories. And then what happens is you usually overeat to the point where you're sickeningly full and then you feel disgusting when you could have just maybe started your day with a protein-rich breakfast, uh, maybe had a light snack until dinner if you were hungry, and then you would have gone in not ravenous, um, but excited to eat, and then you wouldn't have overeat, and then your overall calories would have been a lot more balanced than if you starved yourself all day, right? With that all or nothing thinking. Um, that is a big one. And then I would say another thing, because this is a little bit of a more complex one, um, it's a belief in the self as well. So, this is something that's really interesting. Uh, we kind of self-sabotage for one reason or another. Um, this one can be, like I said, tricky, you know, for whatever reason, whether it's, you know, past habits, maybe we were a chubby kid, we were somebody who's always failed our diets, uh, maybe we don't have confidence in ourselves, so we just create that narrative that well, I know if I eat this one Oreo, I'm just gonna eat the whole sleeve. And as crazy as it sounds, the words you say to yourself and the thoughts you say to yourself become your reality. They do, one way or another. If you tell yourself that you're that person that just eats that whole sleeve of Oreos, guess what? You're going to, but you know what? You can flip that in the other direction. You could say that I'm somebody who I eat a couple Oreos. Um, and to be honest, and again, this is maybe a little bit of a whole other realm of eating, but if you are somebody who was severely restricted and is kind of trying to normalize your eating, the first couple times, you may need to get that out of your system, honestly. Like you may need to binge on a couple of Oreos. If that's what it takes a couple of times of binging to get it out of your system to slowly be able to normalize your eating, I mean that's up to you, but I think that would be worth it in the long run, just to show your body that it's safe, what it feels like to eat that many Oreos, and what it feels like, you know, again, when everything kind of falls into place when you're eating a more balanced diet and you feel safe, uh, you learn to just want a couple of uh those those Oreos. So it really comes down to the person and the situation. But I know I was someone like that too. I struggled with a lot of these, and it's funny now, um, just from getting into the routine of a healthy diet, and I had some hormonal issues and imbalances, and there were times that I like craved sugar like crazy, and there was nothing I could eat that would tame it. And this was me when I was younger, so it's not like oh, you're getting older and it gets worse. Like, no, this was me when I was like in my late teens, early 20s, and um I went through phases like that, and now I'm pretty stable and it's balanced, and I don't crave things. And again, I used to be that person. I came from a family who ate ice cream every single night, and uh you know, I had that oh my god, it's the holiday season, I just gotta load up and eat until I'm sick, and I would have pizza and blue mountain dew. I don't even know if they sell blue mountain dew anymore, but oh my god, I was the queen of junk food. I grew up on junk food, and like that's what I liked. But now I eat balanced and I fit in things that I enjoy, and there's you know, periods of time where I don't even want like chocolate at the end of the night, right? But then there's some times that I am craving chocolate, so maybe for a couple weeks I will have a piece of chocolate after dinner or something like that. But when I don't, I don't force it, right? And and that's normal, that's the body's way of kind of regulating itself, normalizing itself, and everybody's journey is gonna be different. But when you are experiencing these beliefs, it's your body saying it's coming from somewhere, it's coming from the lack of something, right? Um, so that if I eat one, I'll eat them all, and and and that that's one that I want you to reflect on. Now, belief three gaining weight would be the worst thing in the world. This is a tough one. Um, I personally have struggled with this one too. Uh, even when I 100% know it's fine, I think it's just been so ingrained in our brain. Um, maybe for males, sometimes the scale going up can be seen as positive because you're like, oh yeah, you're bigger, you're bulkier, you're getting muscle. Yeah. But for women, forget it. The message is always smaller is better, leaner is better, skinnier is better. Men will love you if you're skinnier. Um, everybody will be nicer to you if you're skinnier and pretty. And and a lot of it's like indirect messaging, too. Like a lot of the times, uh the females that get positive reactions in movies and TV shows and commercials, they're a smaller frame. They look a certain way. Um, and this is into modern day. Um, it's gotten slightly better, but not really. And uh, I think they've gotten slightly better at this on TV shows where they showcase overweight people um, you know, that get made fun of or they call themselves fat and that they've gained weight. And these people will not look overweight, like they might look a little curvier, or if not, just like a normal size, especially if you go back to like the 90s, early thousands movies of uh girls, they're like, Oh my god, I'm so fat, and people are making fun of them, and and it's like what this is just a normal body, and it's just amazing that we've been exposed to this kind of stuff. Um, so you know, we we get it ingrained in our brain, and and I see it with clients all the time. If it's if if I'm gaining weight, the scale went up. I I must be a failure, and I think having some the power of knowledge helps, at least for me. Uh, the learning about the science of how weight gain works is helpful. So I'm just gonna give you a little mini crash course on that. So hopefully it helps. So, in regards to weight gain, your weight can fluctuate. It can fluctuate, I would say, on average one to seven pounds, okay, daily. Yes, it can swing that much depending on a lot of factors. Uh, if you're dehydrated, um, if you drank a lot of water, if you had a lot of salt, how's your stress? How's your sleep quality? Is your period coming up? Do you have any hormonal fluctuations? This can count for menopause. Um, you know, what foods did you eat? Did you have a bowel movement? So there's a lot of factors going on there. Okay. Um the way I like to look at it is again, I look at it like a scientist. So you have a couple options. You could uh not weigh yourself at all if you choose not to, um, and maybe base it off of photos or measurements, and I would do that bi-weekly, no sooner, because the changes are gonna be insignificant for that. Um, you could weigh in, um, I would say monthly, bi-weekly, or weekly. Now, note that the sooner that you weigh in, like if you weigh weekly, there is room for error there. Um, because the best way to weigh in is actually every day. Okay, now if that that messes with people's minds a lot though, because it's like, oh my god, every time I step on the scale, it's an emotional roller coaster if the scale goes up, even though I know it's one thing, like I hate it. Um, but let me explain it to you. So if you weigh yourself every day, you're gonna see those fluctuations, right? Like, oh, I didn't have a bowel movement. You can actually mentally attach why the scale may be up, and sometimes it's just up to be up. Um weight loss is weird like that. Like if you're intentionally losing weight, especially for females, men are a little bit more cut and dry, which is why there's all the jokes about how men can like do nothing and they lose 10 pounds, and women do everything and we gain a pound. Um, but women, we're a little more complex, we have estrogen, it makes us hold on to water. So there's just a lot of reasons. But I think if you know that you're doing everything right deep down, and you just hold the course and be patient and stick with it, the scale will eventually go in the right direction. And it's good to have other forms of measurement like taking photos and measurements and things to kind of reaffirm that you're doing the right things. And if you're not, again, approach it like a scientist and go, hmm, I'm doing these things. What can we do? What can we change to get me closer to my goal? And again, if this is something you're like, no, I'm tired, I do too much, I can't even begin to do this on my own. This is exactly what I help people with. So please feel free to reach out to me if you need help and guidance because I can get you there. Um, but with the daily weighing in, if you weigh yourself every day, you can average the weight together for the for the week. And that way you'll see average trends. So whatever your average weight is for week one and then week two, generally we should see a trend downwards, right? And for most people, it's gonna be half a pound to like two pounds, uh, depending on how much weight you have to lose, where you're at in your weight loss journey, you tend to lose more in the beginning because it's water weights. There's a lot of factors, right? Um, but yeah, so it's okay if you if you weigh daily and you average, I think that's gonna be the most accurate picture. But again, if the scale bothers you, you can always weigh in less. Just know that you may weigh in on a high day, right? Like let's say you weigh in on a low day as your first weigh-in, you're like, okay, and then you weigh in on a high day the next time, it may look like you gained weight, but you don't have the whole story, you don't have all the data points from uh the days in between. So it could just look like that when in reality, maybe your average, you're down, right? So take all of that with a grain of salt, but I hope it kind of helps you uh think about that a little bit differently. And again, these are complex topics, but I really wanted to just kind of touch on them a little bit to get your brain rolling and see if maybe you identify with them and maybe spark something in you. Um, but these can go very deep and they can take time to work on, um, but they all are very important. Now, belief number four, I better eat this now before Monday. So I'm gonna kind of categorize this as the weekend thing. Um, a lot of us do this, and I even kind of do it, but I've found a way that it works with my diet. We always think that, you know, we're on a routine Monday through Friday, we go to work, uh, we have our meals prepped, we know when we eat, and then the weekend comes, and for some reason, everything always feels like chaos. And we're like, oh, well, you know, we're usually going out maybe with a friend or doing something, or we'll be out and about, so we're more likely to get fast food. Um, so we're not thinking about what we're eating, uh, or maybe it's our time we're like, oh, I'm finally not working, so screw it. I'm gonna eat get these greasy foods and drink this alcohol. I deserve it. Um, so there's a lot of mindsets uh that come around that, and like better eat it before Monday comes along. Um and again, this comes back to your individual schedules and needs on how you want to view the weekend. But I know personally I do choose to enjoy myself on the weekends because I am off on the weekends. That's usually when me and my husband go out and about and we're traveling, exploring, doing fun things. Um, like I'll get Dunkin'. You know, at least on one day out of the week, I'll get Dunkin'. Then usually I cook at home the next day unless we're really lazy. So that's one way I balance. Um, but I get my Dunkin' because I love it, or Starbucks, and as our on the go, like we're just getting a breakfast sandwich and some coffee and going to our destination. Um, and then usually that's enough food that we'll just eat like dinner somewhere, right? And then, like, the one day is usually like our reset day. But um, I always keep my tools in my pocket that I've learned from nutrition over the years, and again, you can learn these too, because they don't teach them in school or anywhere in an applicable way. Um, but you can learn them of like, okay, well, I'm out to eat, and like I really want some like fried chicken. I want to get the fried chicken, but maybe I'll get a side of veggies instead of the french fries, or like I normally get like I want wine and an appetizer and dessert, but let me just pick one, right? So you can still enjoy things, but just think about kind of being mindful, you know, look up the menu ahead of time. Um, make whatever, like my general rule of thumb is whatever you do on the weekend now, see how you can make it a little bit better. You know, instead of three glasses of wine, can you have two? Right? Um, again, if you go for the appetizer and dessert, pick one, make it a little bit better. Add a glass of water, add veggies, uh, add some protein with your breakfast in the morning and see how that makes the rest of your day feel so you're not overdoing it for dinner. There's so many tools and tactics in your pocket. You just have to learn them, I promise. Okay. And then the last belief here, um, I had a tough day, so I deserve this. Oof, this is this is a big one, and this is a really, really deep one, okay? And this is kind of what I love about nutrition because, in a way, if you work on these things, you will be working on a deeper part of yourself as a whole, and you will be bettering yourself as a person, as a whole. And that's kind of why I love teaching fitness and nutrition, uh, because it it allows us to discover parts of ourselves and just make us better people. It's not about workouts and eating at the root, it's about so much more. Okay, so I had a tough day, so I deserve this. Um, a lot of this is a coping mechanism, it's an emotional coping mechanism. We're using food as a reward and it gives us relief because deeper needs are unmet. We live in this world, it's really sad. We live in a very fast-paced world, we're all running on the hamster wheel trying to catch up with everybody for no reason, just because they tell us to. And a lot of the times we're running on low sleep, we don't get that relationship connection we need, we don't have time to do things we enjoy, not even five minutes. And um, whatever the reason may be, it could be something personal with with your mindset again, relationships, work, stress, uh, so many different things, but because some need isn't met, we resort to food, or it's you know, doom scrolling on the phone. But in the context of nutrition, it's gonna be food. Why? Because our food is engineered to be satisfying. They want to uh they want you to love it and eat it and buy more. Okay. I don't know if this necessarily comes from a bad place. Sometimes it can. I think that they don't maybe question the long-term effects of some things, but in reality, they're just a business and they're trying to make their product enjoyable so you will buy more, okay? Um, and a lot of it is processed foods, right? Um, so maybe we go to our bag of chips, and for my neurodivergent friends, um, and those of you who may be neurodivergent and don't know it, like uh if you get that dopamine hit, right? Like me, I'll say I love carbonation. I love strong flavors. So, like a burst of sugary frosting or chocolate, right? Um, or deep dark chocolate, or that salty vinegar, ooh, that sharp salty vinegar, um, or the carbonation, right? I love that. I love that hit, right? And you usually get that from junk food, right? And so we'll do that, or that crunch, like a texture, right? So when we eat that and consume that, our brain lights up. It's like, ooh, dopamine, yes, I love this. And so you want more because you've been so lacking in it because it hasn't been fulfilled in another part of your life, that you use that food to give you joy. Um, and there's other reasons too. Another interesting one I find is that a lot of people will eat food uh to feel fullness in their stomach because it kind of feels like a warm hug, it feels like safety. And this is a trained behavior, this isn't something that you're born with. You've taught yourself over time, indirectly or directly, that food gives you safety, which this can be a positive thing. It can be a positive thing. Like, how great is it that we can use food to soothe ourselves? But but it does come with consequences, right? So I think there's little ways. Um, and again, I would dive deeper into this, you know, if this was your issue in coaching, because again, this is highly personalized and individualized for the person. Um, but you know, one thing that I would say going on the making it a little bit better for myself is I choose healthier options. Like I do love carbonation. I'd say carbonation is my number one love. So all my carbonated beverages for the most part are their diet, their zero calorie. I'm so glad we live in a time where like poppy exists, you know, because I get my carbonation fix. I've been um even leaning into seltzer water. I'll mix seltzer water with my true lemon lemonade packets and I drink that. Um, I have just seltzer water that I can chug on when I'm craving it, and that really cures the fix for me. Um, every now and then I'll get a diet coke. Uh, rarely do I get full sugar soda anymore because it's just like so sweet now that all I drink is like lower calorie stuff. Um, but yeah, I get that carbonation fix through that. So if you can find a healthy alternative, and again, that's something I help my clients with, you know, depending what they're what their craving is, we work on that. Um, that can help with that as well. And and getting, of course, to the emotional root and and know that the that feeling is probably not coming from hunger, it's something else. You're needing an emotional need to be satisfied, and you can get that elsewhere. Right? So at the end of the day, wrapping these up, these beliefs aren't really about food at all, are they? They're about safety, trust, and self-permission. Yes. So uh this is why I say nutrition isn't always about food. If you feel like you are doing everything right and it's still not clicking, it's probably not the diet itself. It's a mindset thing. It's something you need to work on internally to be able to get this stuff to work, right? So I want you to think back on these. I'm gonna repeat them really quickly. Belief one, I can't waste food. Belief two, if I eat one, I'll eat them all. Belief three, gaining weight would be the worst thing in the world. Belief four, I better eat this now before Monday. And belief five, I had a tough day, so I deserve this. Which one of these hit hardest for you? And that's usually your biggest lever for change. Okay, I want you to think about that. I hope you enjoyed this. Um, I'll be breaking this down a little bit more in my email list. You know, I'll be sending out a little thing and then on Facebook, just because I think it's a really great concept that is going to strike a lot of people. So be on the lookout for that. Um, and again, if you feel like you really need that one on one attention, you're ready, you're ready to conquer this. Please feel free to reach out to me and we can see if we are a good fit. But other than that, guys, have a great rest of your day, and I will chat with you soon. Bye for now.